September 15, 2020
My Multidimensional Awakening
Lavender Tusk is Feminine Awakening embodied. It comes from the collaboration of the word lavender; which is a slightly feminine, unconventional colour and from the word tusk; in reference to the sacred elephant that represents awakening. Lavender Tusk is the name of my business and like anyone else, there is a story behind how I got here.
Firstly, I would like to acknowledge that Lavender Tusk and its location, including where I am writing this from right now, are on the Haldimand tract, traditional territory of the Neutral, Anishnaabe (Anish-nah-bay) and Haudenosaunee (How-den-no-show-nee) peoples. We honour and respect these nations as the traditional stewards of the land and water where we are now present.
These past 5 years of experience and learning have been awakening me to my personal power and reminding me why I am here, right now. The deeper I dive, the more light I find. The more I rest and reconnect with Mother Earth, the more I reclaim my spirit. The more I listen to my body and soul, the more freedom, expression and peace I feel.
I can’t say exactly when this multidimensional awakening began for me, and I could say that there was no specific start and this experience is unfolding exactly as it was always meant to. My earliest memories of a spiritual connection come from 2013 and feeling the divine within everything in nature. The moon, waterfalls, flowers, sunrises and sunsets, rainbows, rain. It’s hard to deny the beauty and connection of nature within itself and within us.
It wasn’t always this way for me. The peace, presence and perspective of our Universe that I feel now. The awareness and relationship with myself, including my body, soul and mind, was not always healthy or balanced. My experience during those moments in time were more associated with self-sabotaging and dissociation. My journey to my authentic self began after spiritual bypassing and a traumatic accident. This is where my true exploration, curiosity and healing expanded.
In 2014 I graduated from college and traveled to an off grid sustainable community in Costa Rica. That was my first time traveling alone and it forever impacted my life. I will never forget the realization that their work and life were not separate. They were growing their own food, using solar energy and living with nature. There was no separate 9-5 and then creating your dream outside of that. They were living their lives in harmony with themselves and nature.
Fast forward to 2015, which brought Reiki Training, Yoga Teacher Training and traveling to Australia and Indonesia. In 2016, my life was summarized nicely by “Yoga, Dogs & Mental Health” which was a sweater I created for myself and turned into a fundraiser for a nonprofit mental health organization. We also moved into our first home and I got accepted into a Spiritual Psychotherapy training program. It was not until this year that I realized my love and light experiences over those two years while worthy and valid, were also part of a spiritual bypassing.
From 2017 and the two years following, I experienced a Dark Night of the Soul.
- Car accident/broken back
- PTSD, Anxiety, Depression
- Diagnosed with Achalasia
- Abusing Alcohol
- Deaths of 5 family members
I have never experienced more fear, darkness, vulnerability, support, love and gratitude over these past three years. That’s kind of beautiful isn’t it? The mysterious balance of life.
Mental Health and Multidimensionality
I would like to take this moment to acknowledge and I am so grateful for my privilege not only in my life but in receiving the opportunities that I needed to heal and be where I am today. Experiencing anxiety, depression, PTSD, trauma, addiction, chronic pain and an autoimmune disease has taught me how to transmute pain into something more beautiful. Every experience I have had is valuable to me because I am here today. I have had so much support on this path of healing and I want to create a safe and accessible space for others to do the same.
There is still so much stigma around mental health. It’s time to normalize talking about mental health. It’s time to normalize therapy. It’s time to normalize decolonizing mental health and the way we heal. It’s time to normalize living in harmony with nature. It’s time to normalize living in harmony with our true selves. It’s time to normalize that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
The Great Awakening
Here we are now in the Fall of 2020. It wasn’t easy to get here, but it was worth it. I choose to look back on this year and see necessary collapse and awareness with transformation on the horizon.
I quit my job a few months ago and decided to finally pursue my dream. My inside world resonates with my outside world and I carry peace in my heart. Through alternative healing and learning I have created harmony in my body, mind and soul. I have done the work and will always continue to do the work (because it doesn’t end!). Always learning, holding peace in my heart, creating harmony and living authentically.
I never know what to say when people ask what I do or to tell them about me. Energy healer, mental health coach, spiritual psychotherapy student, intuitive mentor, yoga teacher, Indigo, Starseed, Lightworker, these are all just labels and to embody one’s entire being in a few words would not do anyone justice. I just am. I am here. I am human. Experiencing. Learning. Unlearning. Evolving. This is what is real to me. This is what is important. There is a new Earth being created and I hope to see you there.
My life experience is what has led me here, to create Lavender Tusk. This is a space to bridge the experience of being human and being multidimensional. We explore this experience with honesty, curiosity and non judgement. Thank you for being here.